


everyone's holding their breaths

by helloearthlings



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Celebrities, Closeted Character, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Outing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-18 00:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18975148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: There are different variations of the headline, but it all boils down to the same story. Jack Wright and Sammy Stevens, both former actors in the teen drama Laguna Beach, kissed in their car at LAX. Sammy’s in the driver’s seat, he’s leaning over the counsel, and one of his hands cups Jack’s cheek on the side of his face that’s closest to the camera.Sammy saw the news when he woke up to his phone buzzing with a call from his agent. He hasn’t moved from his bed yet, even though at some point he should probably go to the bathroom and throw up everything he’s eaten in the last day. Other than a constant stomachache, the rest of his body feels numb. A horrible, creeping numbness.





	everyone's holding their breaths

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I continue to exist! Hopefully later today I'll get started on a fun chaptered fic, but for now enjoy this :)

Sammy stares at the photo until he can’t anymore.

He remembers the moment, he knows exactly where and when it happened, even if he hadn’t known there had been a camera in the vicinity. Sammy can’t help but wonder if they could’ve avoided this if only he had picked another parking spot, or chose another garage in the airport complex.

There’s no avoiding it now, though. Now the photo, captioned with the name Greg fucking Frickard, is on every tabloid site he can find. And he can find a _lot._

Sammy shouldn’t have gone down the Internet rabbit hole. He should’ve just exited out of Twitter the moment he saw the originally published article from the National Enquirer.

_Former Laguna Beach Stars Gay?_

There are different variations of the headline, but it all boils down to the same story. Jack Wright and Sammy Stevens, both former actors in the teen drama Laguna Beach, kissed in their car at LAX. Sammy’s in the driver’s seat, he’s leaning over the counsel, and one of his hands cups Jack’s cheek on the side of his face that’s closest to the camera.

The comments section is debating whether or not that’s actually Jack Wright. With his face half-obscured it could be anyone. But there's already a picture Jack wearing the same hoodie inside LAX later that same day, as someone with the username _RLopez4everrrrrrrrr_ so helpfully pointed out.

Sammy scrolled through enough of the comments to know that fans and non-fans alike pieced together not only that he and Jack are still friends seven years later, but also that they’ve been seen together at a long string of various events, have gone to each other’s premieres, and somehow even figured out through some really stalkerish behavior that the two of them live together just outside LA.

Sammy saw the news when he woke up to his phone buzzing with a call from his agent. He hasn’t moved from his bed yet, even though at some point he should probably go to the bathroom and throw up everything he’s eaten in the last day. Other than a constant stomachache, the rest of his body feels numb. A horrible, creeping numbness.

It’s been an hour. Sammy’s tried to call Jack but it went straight to voicemail – he’s filming in Spain right now, only got there two days ago, and it’s one in the morning there. Sammy will have to wait at least a few hours to reach him.

He’s called three times anyway, just in case Jack notices his phone buzzing, but it’s almost always on silent so that’s probably not going to happen. He hopes Jack’s jetlag is bad enough that he’ll wake up in the middle of the night, but Jack always takes NyQuil in his bag to sleep better.  

He’d almost forgotten it this time, but Sammy had slipped into his bag right before he left and Jack grinned, kissing between Sammy’s eyes, the very top of his nose. _You always take such good care of me._

Sammy’s texted Jack too, but doesn’t want to put all the sordid details in a text message. He needs to be the one to tell Jack what happened. All he’s said is _call me as soon as you wake up. Don’t freak out, I’m not dying and I love you more than anything, I just need you to call me._

Now all Sammy can do is wait for Jack’s call, curled up in their bed and not knowing whether or not he should cry.

At least season three of King Falls wrapped last month. If Sammy had to get up and film today, face his coworkers when surely they would’ve seen this as soon as it broke, or had any number of their Twitter followers alert them why Sammy Stevens was trending….

Well, it’s a good thing Sammy isn’t obligated to see the cast or crew for another three months.

That’s if King Falls will take him back for season four after this – surely they would, surely the world had advanced enough for Sammy to at least keep his job, his job that he’d had for three years.  

Even if he’ll never get _another_ job after this…

Sammy can’t go down that particular black hole right now, not when he’s already sick at the idea of everyone he knows realizing that he’s spent the last however many years lying to them. Fans and audiences will probably feel bet, betrayed, that’s barely emotionally registering with Sammy right now.

What’s most important is Sammy’s continuously buzzing phone, with messages from practically everyone in his contacts list.

Sammy’s not reading them, though.  

The only ones he cares about are Ben’s.

_Oh my God I just saw I’m so sorry_

_Are you okay??????_

_Sammy please answer me_

_I’ve tried calling twice please pick up_

_Sammy I’m not mad at you for not telling me. I understand!!! Please just pick up the phone_

_You know you’re my best friend, right? The best friend I’ve ever had. This doesn’t change anything ever okay??_

_Sammy I’m begging you please please please just let me know you’re alright_

Sammy’s typed out a reply to Ben six times but they all feel too blasé and too heavy all at once. He’s deleted every one of them. Words usually come naturally to Sammy, but not right now.

Right now Sammy’s waiting for Jack to call him. He can’t face the rest of the world until he can talk to Jack, the only person who will understand because this is _their_ lives on the line right now.

He wants to call Ben so badly, wants to do his best imitation of himself for Ben, and he will. He _will_ , he just needs to talk to Jack first.

Jack’s the only one who can make this anywhere close to okay.

* * *

 

Sammy met Jack twelve years ago, when they were both nineteen.

Sammy had moved to LA less than a year previously, and had never been more than an extra until he got cast in the first season of a teeny bopper beach show where all the girls wore bikinis in half of their scenes.

Despite the proximity of beaches to everything on the show, Sammy and Jack met on a soundstage. Sammy watched Jack film a scene set in the locker room that came right before Sammy’s scene, which involved his character skulking in the locker room a few hours after The Big Game and Jack’s character telling him ominously that he knew what his deal was and that this school didn’t need any of that shit.

Sammy was meant to be on Laguna Beach for very briefly, long enough to sell some drugs to the bikini-clad girls and get threatened by the golden boys, of which Jack’s character was the ringleader. Jack was the natural star of the show, the heartthrob of soapy teen drama.

It was all very cliché, and Sammy was certain he was meant to be written off after three episodes.

For some reason, the producers liked Sammy’s scene with Jack – and then gave him another one. And another the next week. One or two most weeks.

Then the next season Sammy was hired back as a regular, and his character had an entire B plot.

That wasn’t half as exciting to twenty-year old Sammy as the prospect of telling his new best friend Jack that they’d get to keep hanging out for another year _at least._

He called Jack the second he walked out of the contract negotiations.

“ _Oh my God_!” Jack shouted into the phone, and Sammy practically had to hold it away from his ear, Jack was so loud. He couldn’t help but beam, even though Jack couldn’t even see him. “Are you serious? Holy shit, dude. That’s so exciting. I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks,” Sammy chuckled weakly into the phone. “I was so floored when my agent called me. Shit, a year ago I didn’t even _have_ an agent.”

“That’s so, so amazing _,_ ” said Jack, who had been a child actor and at thirteen had starred in a household-name movie. He had the kind of resume that Sammy didn’t, even though they were the same age. “You’re the most fun person on set, so of course they hired you back.”

“I’m not…. _fun_ ,” Sammy blushed involuntarily, scuffing his shoes. He had sat in his car outside his agent’s office for at least an hour afterward, trying to pinch himself out of this dream. “I’m just – I dunno, I think they like me?”

“Of course they like you,” Jack said like it was obvious. “You’re the best.”

“They probably just wanna make you happy,” Sammy said, half-teasing and half-serious. Everyone on set knows that they’re friends, that they bonded from the moment Jack shoved Sammy against one of the fake lockers.

Love at first sight, now that Sammy thinks about it.

“No way,” Jack didn’t even give it any thought. “You’re so talented, you would’ve gotten it no matter what. The fact that you and I are the part of season one that’s getting the best reviews is just icing on the cake. Takes two to tango and all.”

“I hope they don’t make us tango next season,” Sammy joked, and probably in that exact moment just….fell. Completely and totally in love with Jack. Just the idea of dancing with Jack was enough to make his heart fall out of his chest. That’s all it took.

“More fun than football,” Jack said cheerfully, not noticing Sammy’s brief moment of existential crisis.

He wouldn’t notice for another four years.

* * *

 

Sammy’s character Vince was killed off in the season five finale – a drug overdose, probably what Vince’s fate would’ve been in season one had Sammy and Jack hadn’t hit it off.

Jack had been more upset than Sammy at the news, and sulked for approximately an hour after reading the script during one of their usual pizza nights in Jack’s apartment, just the two of them.

Sammy was disappointed, but less about leaving Laguna Beach and more about just leaving Jack.

Would Jack still want to be his best friend if they didn’t _have_ to see each other nearly every day?

“Next season is going to be _boring_ ,” Jack grouched every time someone brought it up for the next three weeks.

“It’s okay,” Sammy would pat Jack’s shoulder, and do absolutely no other touching whatsoever. “I’m fine with it! I’ve already got a part in that independent film after season five wraps, I’m not gonna starve on the street.”

“Still,” Jack muttered under his breath, every single time, and that would be the end of the discussion.

It wasn’t until they filmed the finale, the whole cast and crew had a going away party for Sammy and Jessa, the other actor whose character was leaving the show – she’d played Sammy’s on-again, off-again girlfriend, and Sammy had lived in panic every time he kissed her that she could tell how deeply inexperienced he was at kissing girls.

Jack drove Sammy back to his apartment afterwards, as Sammy had more to drink  at the partand Jack was being maudlin as was his new normal.

“Jack,” Sammy was freer with his smiles and affection than usual when he touched Jack’s forearm when Jack pulled up outside his building. “Stop frowning! I’ll see you next weekend, okay? We can still hang out all the time.”

“You mean that?” Jack smiled in that soft way that Sammy sometimes thought was only for him.

A stupid thought, of course. Even if Jack did have a smile just for Sammy, that didn’t have to mean anything more. Jack was just a good friend. A good, straight friend. Sammy had to stop being a cliché fifteen year-old and stop pining after the straight guy. Now was as good a time as any.

“Obviously I mean it,” Sammy told Jack, firm and meaningful, because Sammy was going to turn off the pining part of his brain that had no real use anyway. Jack was his best friend, pure and simple. Sammy wanted to always be Jack’s friend, so the pining had to go away. “We live in the same city, we run in the same circles – and even if we didn’t, that wouldn’t matter.”

“I’m just being dumb, I know,” Jack shook his head, with pink tinges on his cheeks that Sammy liked. “I just – I’m gonna miss you! I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through the next season without you.”

“You’ll be fine,” Sammy reassured him. “You’re the best actor I know, so if you don’t feel fine, you can just act it.”

“I’ll have to,” Jack’s smile turned rueful. “You’re the best part of that show, Stevens, so don’t you forget it. The writers made the worst decision to write you off.”

“Oh, shut up,” Sammy rolled his eyes, but not without affection. Because he was more than a little tipsy, he added “I’ll see you Saturday, okay? Or better yet, come over tomorrow. Stay over tonight! Whatever will make you stop being mopey.”

“I – really?” Jack’s eyes traveled up to the building and then back to Sammy. Despite the intoxication, Sammy recognized a flash of fear within Jack, the same as the flash that went through him when his mouth invited Jack up past midnight without consulting his brain, which hadn’t turned off the pining feature quite yet.

“Yeah,” Sammy tugged on Jack’s sleeve, because he couldn’t go back now. “C’mon, Jack. Please.”

Looking back, Sammy thinks his voice had been probably just the right amount of breathless for Jack to turn to him, eyes wide and biting his lip until it turned red. “Are you sure –”

Sammy leaned in to kiss him.

His brain shorted out while it happened so he couldn’t panic. It was short and chaste and the best kiss of Sammy’s life.

“Oh,” Jack said into Sammy’s mouth, and Sammy could feel his lips quirking upward into a smile that Sammy couldn’t help but mimic. “Oh, good.”

Still, years later, Sammy thought of it as the best kiss of his life because it was his first kiss with Jack. And that was perfect. _Jack_ was perfect. It’s Sammy’s best memory.

Laguna Beach was cancelled a season later, and Jack had always taken a vindictive pleasure in that, saying if they hadn’t offed Sammy then they would’ve been renewed.

Sammy lets him have that. He’s always been glad that Vince Carlton overdosed on heroin, though, because if he hadn’t then Sammy wouldn’t have gotten his perfect first kiss.

* * *

 

Meeting Jack was the best thing that ever happened to Sammy.

Meeting Ben was a close second.

Sammy got the pilot for King Falls three and a half years ago, and he’d liked it more than anything else he’d seen recently. The two lead parts, Dan and Larry, had a fun dynamic that wasn’t based in homophobia or misogyny like the vast majority of scripts with two male buddy leads.

It was a ghost-hunting type show but instead of reality TV, it was how the ghost hunters fell down the rabbit hole of a strange, paranormal town in the mountains of the Pacific Northwest. It had a great, eerie feel while being genuinely funny.

Sammy hadn’t ever really expected that he had any chance of getting the lead role. Since leaving Laguna Beach, he’d mainly been cast as supporting characters in indie flicks, or else a semi-regular on networked TV. His characters would never last more than a season, two at most.

“It’s because you’re only going for comedies,” Jack would argue, and Sammy would roll his eyes and lay his head down in Jack’s lap so at least he’d be comfortable for Jack’s usual opinions about how Sammy was selling himself short. “You’re great at drama, even if you don’t think you are!”

“I’m in drama all the time,” Sammy would tell Jack’s knee while Jack stroked his hair. “How many drug dealers have I played now?”

“Four,” Jack held in a chuckle. “It’s because of this.”

He pulled at Sammy’s shoulder-length hair and Sammy swatted his hand away.

“Leave it alone,” Sammy grumbled. “Actually, don’t, keep playing with it. That feels nice.”

Jack would always just laugh at him.

Somehow, against all the odds, Sammy _did_ get the lead in King Falls. It’s the first time he’s ever been first-billed, on anything.

Just like how Sammy credits Jack for his tenure in Laguna Beach, he gives Ben the full credit for King Falls.

He met Ben in the last round of auditions. Ben’s as green as they get, greener than Sammy when he first got to LA. He’s a recent drama school graduate from Washington, is six inches shorter than Sammy, and absolutely shines with unfettered, relentlessly genuine energy.

“Hi!” Ben practically chirped at Sammy as they practiced their sides together. Sammy would read with all the potential Larry candidates that day, but Ben would be his favorite by far. “I’m Ben Arnold. It’s so, so nice to meet you. Wow! I can’t believe I made it this far.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have unless they liked you,” Sammy jerked his head toward the next room where the casting directors are watching two other guys read. “I’m Sammy Stevens.”

“Oh, from Laguna Beach?” Ben asked, and then immediately winced. “Sorry! It’s sort of weird to mention stuff like that, right? This is like my third audition ever in LA, I’m so sorry if that was weird.”

“No, no,” Sammy said quickly, and couldn’t help but smile at the true nervous wide-eyes on Ben right now. “It’s fine. I’m just surprised you recognized me. That’s all.”

Ben leans toward him, hunching his shoulders and narrowing his eyes almost conspiratorially, sharing a secret. Sammy leaned down toward Ben, mirroring him.

 “Don’t tell any football players from my school that might be listening,” Ben glances around as if waiting for them to pop out from behind the chairs, “but I watched Laguna Beach _all the time_ in high school. I wanted to _be_ Ryan Lopez.”

Ryan Lopez had been Jack’s character, and Sammy has never failed to tease Ben about giving away this precious piece of information early on in their friendship.

“I’ll be sure to tell Jack you’re a fan,” Sammy told Ben with a wide grin and Ben went beet red.

They were called in to audition two minutes later, and Sammy knew right away it was special. Ben was already doing his high-pitched embarrassed voice that he gets whenever Sammy teases him, ducking under his arm and shoving his side and jumping up to mess with his hair.

It’s the perfect brotherly dynamic, _exactly_ what the directors are looking for, and they’re cast as the two leads.

“Wow!” Ben practically collided with Sammy in a hug at their first table read as the rest of the cast and crew bustles around them trying to prep and making introductions. “I can’t believe this! I’ve never been cast in anything but bit roles…and now I’m here! And so are you! You were my favorite person to read with, and not just ‘cause I watched your show.”

“You were my favorite, too,” Sammy told him, not even bothering to hold back a grin. Ben just automatically brings that unbridled affection out in him, still does to this day, in a way no one else ever has.

Sammy loves Jack more than life itself, but it was _hard_ to learn how to show Jack affection. Sammy had to undergo a lot of his own personal character growth to reach that point, and battle so many of his instincts that told him that romance and sex weren’t for him.

With Ben, where it’s nothing but friendship, it’s like Sammy’s a natural.

* * *

 

Sammy had been nervous for Ben and Jack to meet. He and Ben had become extraordinarily _close_ during the first half-season of King Falls, in a way Sammy had never been with anyone but Jack.

The closeness was different, though. Sammy and Jack’s closeness was always tinged with electricity and nervous energy. With Ben, the closeness just _is._ Sammy doesn’t need to analyze it.

Sammy had been threatening Ben with a face-to-face with Jack since they met, and even though Ben was still deeply embarrassed at his fan-boy tendencies, Sammy knew it couldn’t be put off forever.

So when Sammy’s car was in the shop longer than planned, he asked Jack to pick him up from set, and told Ben that he’d finally get the chance to meet his childhood hero.

“It’s so cool that you guys are still close,” Ben said as the two of them head out of the building in the direction of Ben’s car. “Is that normal?”

“For teenage stars of the soapiest teen show of the mid-2000s?” Sammy teased because that’s his natural response to everything. “Probably not. But I know plenty of people who are still friends with former costars.”

“Oh,” Ben got a look of relief on his face immediately, followed by a slight blush. “That’s really awesome, then.”

Sammy jostled their shoulders together, understanding immediately that Ben was thinking about the hopefully-distant future where the two of them would be former costars. The show hadn’t premiered yet, but Sammy was already sure that they’d get at least one more season. He and Ben just fit so naturally.

Somehow, he was already equally sure he and Ben would stay friends. Even with the lingering fears of anyone discovering his relationship with Jack, he thought Ben would probably be okay with it.

It didn’t mean Sammy was ready to tell him – tell _anyone –_ but it was a better feeling to think that Ben would hypothetically understand than that Ben would ditch him the second he knew.

Ben wouldn’t do that. Ben’s too sweet for that.

“Does he know anything about me?” Ben was twenty-four years old, but his wide eyes and short stature and desperate need for approval sometimes made him seem younger.

“He knows that you had a poster on your wall in high school,” Sammy told him and Ben purpled. “Relax! He thinks it’s funny. He’s really excited to meet you, he’s heard all about you.”

“Do you see each other a lot?” Ben asked, and Sammy hesitated for longer than a second before answering, but when the words come out, they’re almost natural.

“He’s my best friend. I see him all the time,” Sammy said, completely truthfully, and Ben smiled up at him. Sammy doesn’t add _we live in the same house_ because that’s a bit harder to explain away with pure friendship.

Still, it would be nice if Ben could come over to their house. Sammy could see a lot more of Ben that way. Maybe when the season is over and he and Ben won’t automatically see each other every day, he’ll volunteer that information.

Jack was waiting in the lot Ben parked in, and he greeted Sammy with a smile instead of a hug, keeping his distance.

Ben had no such qualms though, and hugged Jack the minute he saw him. “Hi, Jack! It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Hi,” Jack grinned back at Ben, bemused, and squeezed back with a delighted look over at Sammy, who just shrugged. He should’ve known. Ben’s such an affectionate person. “It’s great to meet you, too. Sammy’s told me so much about you.”

Ben beamed up at Jack. “He only talks about you when he’s teasing me about Laguna Beach. It’s not my fault that Ryan Lopez was extremely formative to my ninth-grade self.”

“Ryan Lopez got two girls pregnant before the age of twenty,” Sammy moved into their space and kicked Jack’s leg with his own. Jack groaned in response. “He’s hardly a role model.”

“Yeah well, Vince Carlton _stole_ one of my girls, so he doesn’t have much room to talk,” Jack’s eyes rolled back into his head and casted a long-suffering look in Ben’s direction. Ben practically beamed as he looked between their banter with delighted eyes. 

“I paid for her abortion, and we were praised by _many_ review websites for that scene, it’s my best one without you,” Sammy said back, already knowing Jack’s retort.

“Exactly, your best scene is with me,” Jack grinned. “When I beat you up before the homecoming game senior year.”

Sammy turned to Ben and dropped his voice to a conspiratorial tone. “Whatever. Jack had to be coached through the fight scene because he was worried he’d hurt me.”

“You couldn’t fight!”

“It’s acting!” Sammy laughed at the old argument. It had gotten brought up in many cast interviews by their various costars who found it so funny that Jack couldn’t throw a punch at Sammy even with the assurance that it wouldn’t land.

“Not to sound like a geek, but it’s _so_ funny that you’re best friends,” Ben told them, giggling his usual Ben Giggle that also makes him seem younger than he is. “You have one of the most iconic on-screen rivalries in television!”

“According to BuzzFeed as of last month,” Jack said cheerfully. Their section of the article had the final add-on sentence of _according to their costars, Jack and Sammy are IRL BFFs!_ Which Sammy supposes is one way of putting it. “I couldn’t hit Sammy. He was so skinny back then, I could’ve broken him.”

“Oh, shut up,” Sammy couldn’t pretend to be annoyed at the age-old argument.

“You just wait until they try to make you hit Ben on King Falls,” Jack said.

“They won’t!” Sammy said quickly as Ben giggled again. “We’re not on-screen rivals! Best friends on and off-screen!”

“C’mon, for the drama?” Ben grinned, and though it was teasing Sammy could tell how happy Ben was that Sammy had called them best friends. It was the truth, though. “You’ll totally have to hit me at some point. It’s the hallmark of genre television duos everywhere! One of us will get possessed by an apparition or something. It’ll be heart-wrenching.”

“I can’t hit you, you’re _tiny_ ,” Sammy defended and Jack laughed while Ben made an offended noise. “I’ll talk to the producers and make sure you’re the one hitting me.”

“I’m glad we got this hypothetical worked out,” Jack shook his head with affection. “Ben, you wanna go out for dinner or something? I’d love to talk about your deep love and affection for Ryan Lopez more, if only to remind Sammy of my superiority.”

Ben’s smile was absolutely terrifying in its intensity.

Sammy hadn’t fully realized it in the moment, but he knew enough to know how important it was for Jack and Ben to meet.

Jack’s the love his life, and Ben’s his best friend – but they’re both his two favorite people in the world. When they met, a piece of Sammy that slid into place that hadn’t been there before. Not until the three of them sat down at a Thai place in Hollywood and Ben melted every time Jack complimented him.

Growing up, Sammy had never really believed in there being one person out there for everyone. He supposes he still doesn’t believe that – because somehow, he has two people.

* * *

 

The snag to end all snags comes in the form of Greg Frickard.

Sammy and Ben met Greg and at the promo shoot for season three of King Falls. He’s the assistant photographer on the shoot, and has a distinctly Draco Malfoy look about him with the sleeked back blond hair, already receding hairline, and snide way of talking to everyone around him.

Especially Emily Potter, the third member of their photo shoot.

Emily became a regular in season two of King Falls. She plays Sammy’s girlfriend Rose. Sammy doesn’t have nearly as much fear when it comes to kissing Emily than any other of his female costars because he and Emily became friends instantly.

She’s funny and pretty and has a no-bullshit attitude that Sammy appreciates.  It’s almost fun to do love scenes with her, unlike many of the other women Sammy’s acted against. They make each other laugh during it to distract from the awkwardness. Emily will tickle Sammy at inopportune moments, and Sammy will let his hair fall in Emily’s face to make her splutter.

Ben spends any love scene they do on-set even though he doesn’t have to be, sulking in the corner.

“Ben,” Sammy tells him every single time, an arm around Ben’s shoulder squeezing him tight. Ben always automatically molds into Sammy’s side when he does that. “It’s acting!”

“I know,” Ben says every single time, in the saddest voice imaginable. “I know it’s acting. I just – I want to be included! I don’t like when you guys have scenes without me! Also, you get to make out with her all the time and I can’t even string two words together…”

“Oh my God, it’s _acting_ , and you talk to her all the time! She thinks you’re charming! Just ask her out,” Sammy will say and Ben will groan. This is a regular part of their daily routine on-set.

The photoshoot with Greg Frickard was no exception to this general rule of thumb. Sammy and Ben did their pictures, which involved Ben getting on Sammy’s shoulders as they paraded around the room, and Sammy leaning an elbow on the top of Ben’s head and making him groan.

Then it was Sammy and Emily’s turn. Ben made pouty faces in the corner while Greg Frickard practically salivated over Emily from behind the camera.

“Yes, darling Emily, just like that,” Greg simpered at her four or five times before Sammy decided to put a stop to it.

Sammy knew exactly how gay he was, but no one else did. He made sure his arms stayed draped around Emily for the whole photoshoot, pulling her as close as she can get. She giggled at him every time.

“Sammy!” Emily tried to squirm out of his grasp. She’s not much shorter than him, only an inch or so, but Sammy can duck down and hook his chin over her shoulder with relative ease. She leans up to whisper in his ear, “You’re gonna give Ben a heart attack!”

“He’s not that jealous,” Sammy leaned down to whisper back, swaying with her as she giggled. “I’m just hoping that photographer stops creeping on you.”

“Well, this just means Jessica Rodriguez is taken, not Emily Potter,” Emily pointed out, rightly so.

“Oh, this doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who has a firm grasp on reality,” Sammy rolled his eyes and Emily laughed.

The next time he looked up, Greg Frickard was glaring a hole in his head. He must have heard Sammy’s pointed remarks, but Sammy wasn’t too bothered by it at the time. Greg Frickard was an assistant photographer they would only have to deal with for the rest of the day.

Then Greg Frickard kept popping up, wherever Emily was.

Greg Frickard became a Capital P Problem, and less than two months later, his name was on the all the tabloids as the photo credit for the snapshot of Sammy Stevens and Jack Wright kissing in their car at LAX.

* * *

 

Sammy had been going to tell Ben.

He’d been in a semi-permanent state of _going to tell Ben_ for about a year now. He’d almost gotten it out twice, but then his throat had closed up and Ben had asked if he was having a stroke, and the moment passed.

He knows Ben will be fine with it. He _knows._ Ben loves Jack, always asks Sammy when Jack’s coming by next, if the three of them can get dinner. Once Emily’s in the picture, it becomes the four of them. They already practically are going on double dates, just where Emily and Ben aren’t dating in actuality while Sammy and Jack are.

Sammy thinks Ben knows they live together. He’s been to their house before, and even though Sammy hadn’t explicitly said Jack lived there too, it’s been more than implied. Sammy didn’t make it seem like a big deal, so he doesn’t think Ben took it as a big deal.   

Ben doesn’t really have a gauge for what’s normally appropriate in friendships because Ben Arnold is the most affectionate and loving person Sammy knows. He would think practically anything was in the realm of Just BFFs, because Sammy and Ben were all kinds of close and remained Just BFFs.

Sometimes, when they went to conventions for King Falls, someone inevitably asked about the supposed sexual tension between Sammy and Ben’s characters.

At first Sammy was paranoid that he’s really that bad at playing straight, until Jack reassured him that it’s just fun and not to worry about it, that it wouldn’t matter who was playing Dan.

Sammy’s learned to stop blushing when someone asks, but Ben is far above and beyond that.

When a well-meaning usually teenaged fan gets a microphone and asks some version of _Are your characters in love?,_ Ben always and without fail answers with a completely deadpan expression, _yes, next question._

It makes the fans erupt in cheers and Sammy’s seen many comments online with various versions of _ben arnold said gay rights!!!! I love him, what a gem :)_

He knows Ben would be okay if Sammy was gay. Maybe even happy for him. _Probably_ happy for him, honestly.

“I really want to tell Ben,” Sammy told Jack, maybe six months before he lost his chance. They’re putting away dishes after dinner, picture perfect domesticity. “I just…I mean, I’ve never told anyone before. I don’t know how.”

“It’s rough,” Jack acknowledged with a sad smile as he handed Sammy a dish to dry. “I’m sure however you tell him will be fine, though. He’s the nicest guy I know.”

“Yeah,” Sammy agreed, biting his lip. “That doesn’t make it any less nerve-wracking, you know?”

“I know,” Jack nuzzled his head against Sammy’s for half a second. “It’ll all be okay, though. Five years from now, you’ll look back and wonder what was so scary.”

“You’re right,” Sammy said, trying to imagine that future. He knew it was within his reach, it wasn’t a complete impossibility like he might’ve imagined years ago when he couldn’t picture ever even being with a man.

He and Jack aren’t quite _in the closet,_ but they aren’t out of it either. They don’t say anything in interviews, but their agents know now. So does Jack’s sister, Lily. But Jack had been the one to tell all of them, not Sammy.

They don’t say anything in interviews, ever, but it wouldn’t be hard for anyone to figure out that they live together. They’re not exactly trying to hide it. Sammy had always been certain that corners of the Internet suspect things, but he never went and poked around for it.

Sammy almost told Ben the next week, but then Jack landed the blockbuster movie deal.

Jack had been starring in romcoms for years now. He’s the classic romantic lead, as Sammy will tell him as he pretends to swoon. It never fails to make Jack roll his eyes – or kiss the fake-pout from Sammy’s mouth.

He’d played some more serious, dramatic roles on television, and was the star of a fantastic dramatic mini-series where he played an alcoholic. Sammy’s opinion is biased, but it really was that good. The miniseries landed him the role in the yet unnamed Yorgos Lanthimos film. He was a director Jack had always admired and was dying to work with.

Sammy wasn’t going to add any fuel to any fire after that. He didn’t want to risk Jack losing out on that huge opportunity.

He didn’t exactly tell Jack about his train of thought, but he figured he’d stay quiet at least until Jack finished filming and came back home from Spain.

Maybe after that, Sammy could practice on Ben and then maybe get the words out around a few more people. Emily, for one. The rest of the King Falls cast. He wouldn’t have to be out to audiences to be out to his friends.

That plan, of course, went to hell in a handbasket faster than you can say Greg fucking Frickard.

* * *

 

Sammy still hasn’t moved from his bed when he hears frantic knocking at his front door, followed by continuous doorbell ringing.

He doesn’t exactly mean to ignore it. It’s only that he’s so lethargic that his brain and body aren’t really working together right now. When it stops, Sammy figures whoever it is will go away.

It only stops for a second, and then the doorbell starts ringing again, even more frenzied this time.

Sammy tries to think of who it might be – it would have to be someone who’s been to the house before, since he and Jack live in a secure neighborhood. They’d bought the house last year, figuring that if anyone wanted to find out that they were together, they would’ve by now.

Not many people have been here before, because of that fun fact. Really, there’s only one person it could be.

Sammy hasn’t looked at his phone in the past fifteen minutes, so he winces for impact as he chances a glance at his home screen.

It’s entirely unsurprising to see six new messages from Ben.

_I’m outside your house_

_Dude I’m seriously outside your house please let me in_

_I know you’re in there!!!!!!_

_I mean. I think you are. Please be in there_

_Sammy I’m not leaving until you let me in so this is gonna get awkward real fast if you don’t answer_

_Sammy pleeeeeeaaaaaaase_

Sammy stares at the texts, listens to the repeated doorbells that Ben seems to be ringing in some kind of rhythm right now, and realizes that there’s absolutely no use in pretending that he can say no to Ben.

He makes himself stand, and even though his head spins and he almost trips, he manages to get out of his bedroom without hurting himself too badly. He crosses the short hallway to get to the living room, and immediately notices Ben’s silhouette in the bright Los Angeles sun casting a shadow next to the window.

Even though Sammy’s so anxious he could be sick, knowing that Ben’s there gives him a feeling of sweeping relief, too.

Sammy braces himself, and swings the door open, cutting Ben off mid-knock.

Ben freezes when he sees Sammy, his body still even though his eyes grow wider and more concerned by the second. There’s red rings around them like he’s been crying recently, and that makes Sammy feel all kinds of guilty.

“Hi –” Sammy starts, but Ben barely lets him get an h-sound out before he’s collided with Sammy in a tight hug.

“Oh God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Ben says into his chest as Sammy sways backward at the impact. Ben’s a small guy but he’s a strong one. Without thinking about it, Sammy puts his arms around Ben’s shoulders. “I can’t believe that happened to you – I’m _so_ sorry.”

“Did you already know?” Sammy asks. He hadn’t thought of that, actually, that Ben knew and was just keeping quiet. “About me and Jack?”

“What?” Ben pulls away just a long enough distance to stare up at Sammy with watery brown eyes. “No, no I didn’t know. Was I meant to know? Was I just really stupid?”

“No, no, I didn’t tell you or anything,” Sammy reassures him. “I just – I should’ve told you. I wish I would’ve told you. I was going to tell you, you have to believe I was going to –”

“Of course,” Ben says automatically, like he’s so easy and he believes Sammy completely. Well, maybe he does. “I don’t care that you didn’t tell me – I wish I’d known, obviously, but I understand why you didn’t.”

Sammy hates that his voice cracks. “You’re not mad?”

“Mad? What’s mad?” Ben buries his head in Sammy’s neck again and Sammy can’t help but hold him as tight as he can, like an anchor to hold on to. Sammy’s been drowning all morning. “The only realm in which anger exists is my unrelenting rage at fucking Frickard. I’m gonna kill him. That’s if Emily doesn’t get to him first.”

 “Is she –” Sammy feels another wave of nausea.

“Emily let him down last week, told him she wasn’t interested,” Ben whispers, fire lacing in his voice the more he talks. “I’m sure that’s why he – he’s such a vindictive little fucker. I hate him, I really do. I’m so sorry he did that to you.”

“It’s okay,” Sammy whispers back. “I mean, it’s not. I don’t know, really, if it’s okay.”

“It will be,” Ben says, refusing to let go of Sammy’s waist. “It’ll be okay, I promise. Nothing’s gonna change on King Falls, that’s for sure, other than that we’re never hiring that fucking moron for anything again. I’ll make sure of that. But everyone there loves you – it’s gonna be alright.”

“I just need to talk to Jack,” Sammy’s throat closes up as he chokes back a few tears. He always knew Ben would understand. “He’s in Spain, he’s still asleep, he isn’t picking up his phone…”

“Do you think he’ll freak out?” Ben says quietly, releasing his iron grip on Sammy to stare up at him and comfortingly pat Sammy’s shoulder.

“Probably not as badly as I did,” Sammy admits, squeezing his eyes shut. “But he’ll be scared too, and he’s in another country, he won’t really feel it until he gets back…”

“It’s alright,” Ben tells him, squeezing his shoulder with the strength he doesn’t look like he has. He has it, though. Ben always has whatever Sammy needs. “I’ll wait with you, okay? Have you had breakfast yet?”

Sammy’s non-response is enough for Ben, who grins like it’s any other day, like Sammy’s life isn’t in danger of falling apart.

Maybe Ben’s right – maybe it’s really not. As long as Ben’s here, Sammy’s willing to believe that maybe this will all blow over and everything will be the way it was. Maybe even better.

“I’ll make eggs,” Ben says, and drags Sammy by the wrist into the kitchen.   


End file.
